Slut-shaming

Posted: September 2, 2010 in Gender, Relationships, Sex & Sexuality
Tags: ,

You know what, I don’t think one unprotected drunken encounter makes a slut by anyone’s definitions (although I don’t believe in the concept of ‘slut’, as it’s a product of that damned Madonna/whore dichtonomy). I think it is a stupid thing to do, and would advise anyone reading this not to, but I don’t think there should be a blame game going on.

Once it’s happened, it’s happened. Nothing to be done about that. No amount of blaming and shaming and changing opinions can change that. What’s needed then, for both partners, is supportive friends who help deal with the aftermath – any bad feelings on behalf of either partner, the necessary visit to a health practice for emergency contraception and an STD checkup, just being there. And unless for either partner it needs to be, it doesn’t need to be made into a massive issue. No-one needs to know unless the people involved wish it. Gossipping is not okay. And frankly, it doesn’t mean that the people involved are different.

There’s no need for an opinion of someone to change. If someone thinks a girl is a clever, nice, sometimes annoying friend of theirswho is good to be around, her drunken encounter doesn’t need to change that opinion. If it does change her, well, they need to accept that – but until they know, they have no reason to believe she is a different person. And they certainly shouldn’t take a puritanical, disapproving attitude towards it, because that helps nobody.

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