Bloody facebook

Posted: October 3, 2010 in Gender, Internet, Personal
Tags: ,

I’m not on Facebook myself (gasp!) That’s a decision I made based on the time my friends waste on there and my own desire for privacy. Doesn’t help much, of course, since all my friends are on there – if a person knows who I am, they can read between the lines on my friends’ accounts and get much salient detail.

However, a couple of my best friends decided randomly to make a Facebook page for me, under the name I used to have. I gave it my blessing – this was a while ago, and I hadn’t yet even mentioned my true name or even got entirely comfortable with it in my own head.

So all the folks I knew before I came out and before my name came on the scene are ‘fans’. My friends have posted that I am no longer known by that name, but there appears – thanks to an email one of the founders sent me – to have been some backlash. I’m glad I’ve been told, and I’ve formulated a response that basically says – I was never [old name]; if you’re going to be annoyed on name grounds, be annoyed because I lied to you to start with. You have my email, if you’ve got a problem with it talk to me directly. The old name grated, so please use the proper one. Then I also told my friend that if there was a bad reaction to that, to say something very like, if you can’t respect my name, get out of the group.

Because it is all down to respect. These are people who joined because they like me, and whom I am also fond of. I don’t like getting tough, but if they can’t respect me then they need to get the fuck out of the group. I said nothing in my explanation about gender issues – they all know me as my assigned gender – but if they email me then I’ll tell them. And fuck the consequences.

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